The theatre of the absurd continues in Shanghai
If you had said to me three months ago that Felipe Massa stood a chance of returning to Sao Paulo in October with the ultimate driving prize in the world safely wrapped in his suitcase, I would have advised you to steer clear of the whisky. Somehow, Lewis Hamilton’s charitable nature and the FIA’s crass favouritism of Ferrari have contrived to make this a real possibility. Hamilton’s impetuousness and sheer amateurism at the start of the Japanese grand prix did for his race. But the points deficit to Massa, who finished eighth, would have been reduced from seven to six points had it not been for the intervention of Ferrari’s guardian angel, the FIA. Sebastian Bourdais, who had finished in sixth place suffered a fate similar to that foisted on Hamilton in Spa a few weeks ago. As a consequence of no more than a racing incident, Bourdais was deemed unfairly to have impeded Massa’s progress, awarded a 25 second penalty and thus demoted to tenth place. As a consequence, the points deficit is now five points. Championships are usually decided on the basis of as few points as a single one.
Do the FIA think we are all idiots? I am reminded of a scene from the 1980s Eddie Murphy classic, Beverly Hills Cop. Axel Foley (Murphy) turns up at the Beverly Hills Palm Hotel and is told that there are no rooms available because there has been a mistake made in accepting his reservation. His reaction is a true gem in cinema history: “Don’t you think I realise what’s going on here, miss? Who do you think I am, huh? Don’t you think I know that if I was some hotshot from out of town that pulled inside here and you guys made a reservation mistake, I’d be the first one to get a room and I’d be upstairs relaxing now. But I’m not some hotshot from out of town, I’m a small reporter from “Rolling Stone” magazine that’s in town to do an exclusive interview with Michael Jackson that’s gonna be picked up by every major magazine in the country. I was gonna call the article “Michael Jackon Is Sitting On Top of the World,” but now I think I might as well call it “Michael Jackson Can Sit On Top of the World Just As Long As He Doesn’t Sit in the Beverly Palm Hotel ‘Cause There’s No Niggers Allowed in There!”
So, Lewis Hamilton is robbed of four points in Belgium by the FIA and Massa is gifted one point in Japan by the same bastards. Don’t they think we realise what’s going on here? A twelve point lead has been carefully whittled down to five points. The FIA clearly want to award Felipe Massa the championship by stealth!
If all Lewis Hamilton had to deal with was Ferrari and the FIA, life would be difficult. But it’s worse, far worse. There are two other drivers whom he has ignored throughout the season who could easily make life horrendously bad for him. The first is Robert Kubica who is running third in the championship standings. The BMW driver’s consistency throughout the season has meant that he is now within twelve points of Hamilton’s lead. At this point last year, third placed man, Kimi Raikkonen, was seventeen points adrift of championship-leader, Hamilton, but he went on to take the championship by one point. Two disasters for Massa and Hamilton in China and Brazil and it will be “congratulations Kubica!”
The second driver to worry about is Fernando Alonso in the Renault. It is not a secret that following their less than happy relationship as McLaren team-mates last year, Alonso and Hamilton are at daggers drawn. Alonso is hardly the chap to pop out for a bottle of Krug at the news of Hamilton becoming world champion, so I think it fair to say that it is something he would rather not see. Worse though, it has been rumoured that the extent of his bitterness is such that he is willing to do all he can to sabotage the young Brit. And for the first time in a very long time he looks like he may be in a position successfully to do so. Alonso’s car development skills are superb; so much so that I would call them Schumacheresque. As soon as he left the team, Renault dropped off the radar like a dead asteroid. Now that he has been back for the better part of a year, Renault have begun to come together in a way unseen since 2006. Two wins in a row, however fortuitous, is no mean feat. Since he has no chance of winning anything this year, it would not surprise me if Alonso threw his considerable talent into frustrating Hamilton’s progress. Watch this space.
With the western world throwing open its coffers in a vain attempt at rescuing reckless banks, the only place that seems to have any money now is China. It is perhaps a fitting distraction from these daily woes that this weekend’s Formula One action will be taking place in the People’s Republic. If last year is anything to go by, this should be Hamilton’s race to lose. But 2008 has proved to be the weirdest year I have known in my existence, so I see no reason for motor racing to be exempt from the world of the bizarre.
Nerves, dear boy, nerves. Take your cue from the principal representative of your enemy, the FIA. Earlier this baffling year, your fellow Englishman, Mr Max Mosley, found himself in a dreadful spot of bother over some extra-curricular activities of the carnal kind. He didn’t crawl under a rock and wish he was dead. Oh no. He is made of sterner stuff – nerves of steel. Mosley took on the mighty News International (the vilest news organisation since chief nazi propagandist Joseph Goebbels) and won famously. It can be done, dear boy. Hold your nerve!
Meanwhile, the rest of us can bite our nails and try to -
Enjoy Shanghai!
Gitau
16 October 2008
Do the FIA think we are all idiots? I am reminded of a scene from the 1980s Eddie Murphy classic, Beverly Hills Cop. Axel Foley (Murphy) turns up at the Beverly Hills Palm Hotel and is told that there are no rooms available because there has been a mistake made in accepting his reservation. His reaction is a true gem in cinema history: “Don’t you think I realise what’s going on here, miss? Who do you think I am, huh? Don’t you think I know that if I was some hotshot from out of town that pulled inside here and you guys made a reservation mistake, I’d be the first one to get a room and I’d be upstairs relaxing now. But I’m not some hotshot from out of town, I’m a small reporter from “Rolling Stone” magazine that’s in town to do an exclusive interview with Michael Jackson that’s gonna be picked up by every major magazine in the country. I was gonna call the article “Michael Jackon Is Sitting On Top of the World,” but now I think I might as well call it “Michael Jackson Can Sit On Top of the World Just As Long As He Doesn’t Sit in the Beverly Palm Hotel ‘Cause There’s No Niggers Allowed in There!”
So, Lewis Hamilton is robbed of four points in Belgium by the FIA and Massa is gifted one point in Japan by the same bastards. Don’t they think we realise what’s going on here? A twelve point lead has been carefully whittled down to five points. The FIA clearly want to award Felipe Massa the championship by stealth!
If all Lewis Hamilton had to deal with was Ferrari and the FIA, life would be difficult. But it’s worse, far worse. There are two other drivers whom he has ignored throughout the season who could easily make life horrendously bad for him. The first is Robert Kubica who is running third in the championship standings. The BMW driver’s consistency throughout the season has meant that he is now within twelve points of Hamilton’s lead. At this point last year, third placed man, Kimi Raikkonen, was seventeen points adrift of championship-leader, Hamilton, but he went on to take the championship by one point. Two disasters for Massa and Hamilton in China and Brazil and it will be “congratulations Kubica!”
The second driver to worry about is Fernando Alonso in the Renault. It is not a secret that following their less than happy relationship as McLaren team-mates last year, Alonso and Hamilton are at daggers drawn. Alonso is hardly the chap to pop out for a bottle of Krug at the news of Hamilton becoming world champion, so I think it fair to say that it is something he would rather not see. Worse though, it has been rumoured that the extent of his bitterness is such that he is willing to do all he can to sabotage the young Brit. And for the first time in a very long time he looks like he may be in a position successfully to do so. Alonso’s car development skills are superb; so much so that I would call them Schumacheresque. As soon as he left the team, Renault dropped off the radar like a dead asteroid. Now that he has been back for the better part of a year, Renault have begun to come together in a way unseen since 2006. Two wins in a row, however fortuitous, is no mean feat. Since he has no chance of winning anything this year, it would not surprise me if Alonso threw his considerable talent into frustrating Hamilton’s progress. Watch this space.
With the western world throwing open its coffers in a vain attempt at rescuing reckless banks, the only place that seems to have any money now is China. It is perhaps a fitting distraction from these daily woes that this weekend’s Formula One action will be taking place in the People’s Republic. If last year is anything to go by, this should be Hamilton’s race to lose. But 2008 has proved to be the weirdest year I have known in my existence, so I see no reason for motor racing to be exempt from the world of the bizarre.
Nerves, dear boy, nerves. Take your cue from the principal representative of your enemy, the FIA. Earlier this baffling year, your fellow Englishman, Mr Max Mosley, found himself in a dreadful spot of bother over some extra-curricular activities of the carnal kind. He didn’t crawl under a rock and wish he was dead. Oh no. He is made of sterner stuff – nerves of steel. Mosley took on the mighty News International (the vilest news organisation since chief nazi propagandist Joseph Goebbels) and won famously. It can be done, dear boy. Hold your nerve!
Meanwhile, the rest of us can bite our nails and try to -
Enjoy Shanghai!
Gitau
16 October 2008
posted by Gitau at 11:58 am
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