Ferrari do their thing at the Nurburgring
Imagine you are driving a car at 175 miles an hour. I know it is difficult because most human beings have never done it, but try. Not in a straight line but round a twisty circuit. The sheer effort of keeping the car on the black stuff will strain every sinew in your body. You will suffer. You will concentrate harder than you have ever concentrated. As if that isn't enough, you have to avoid colliding with cars, you have to look out for cars behind you, you have to remember to take a swig of water from time to time, you have to look out for various flags. All the while you are changing gears, remembering to brake at the optimum point and trying to work out what your fellow competitors are doing. Phew! And then some bloke from your team radios in and starts saying things into your ear-piece. He tells you that you need to increase your pace by a second a lap for the next three laps. I will bet you any money that your reaction will be to swear volubly at him. Unless, of course, your name happens to be Michael Schumacher.
I don't enjoy the taste of humble pie. It makes me feel silly when I have to eat it, so I am walking about with a face like a wet Wednesday (I got soaked in a downpour this morning - so that hasn't helped things either). I got it wrong. Forget about Michael Schumacher retiring at the end of this season. He won't. Forget about Ferrari being washed-up. They are not. Ferrari are back. Yesterday was vintage Ferrari; a Brawn-engineered-Schumacher-driven performance. Schumacher began the race behind pole-setter and world champion Fernando Alonso. He stuck to the back of Alonso's car like glue. He inhaled Alonso's dirty exhaust fumes for lap after lap after lap. Edge of the seat stuff.
The strategy was two pronged: either force the leader to make a mistake or leap-frog him in the pit-stops. Neither driver made any errors. Both drove superlatively. The stage was set for master strategist Ross Brawn. At the first round of pit stops. Renault brought Alonso in ahead of Schumacher. Schumacher stayed out for one more crucial lap while Ross Brawn calculated how much fuel had gone into Alonso's Renault. When Schumacher came in at the end of his lap, he knew that he would emerge behind Alonso; thus making Renault and Alonso think they were in the clear. Oh no. Come the second round of pit-stops, Ferrari knew exactly when Alonso was going to come in. Once he did, the instruction was delivered to the mighty Michael Schumacher. "You have three laps, matey," they said. "Jawohl!" replied the German, "zis I can do!" Not only did he find the necessary three or so seconds, he found about seven. I had forgotten what Chipo once told me. "Michael Schumacher is an android," she said. That is the problem. I should have realised this on Saturday after qualifying. In the press conference Alonso looked like a lobster. Schumacher looked like he had been down the road for a casual stroll.
The chap who should have come third, honey-loving Kimi Raikkonen, found his path blocked by the other Ferrari of Felipe Massa. The Brazilian was delighted at his eventual third place. It was his first ever visit to the podium. The last time I saw a chap spray champagne with such vim was the farcical United States Grand Prix of 2005. All the teams except Ferrari and Jordan had boycotted the race. Jordan was such a no-hoper that its Russian owner had promised a million dollars to any driver who made it to the podium. Nobody expected that he would have to pay out. But, as things turned out, Tiago Monteiro - useless rookie - found himself on the third step of the podium. While the Ferrari drivers hung their heads in shame and took the boos and catcalls of the American crowd without touching their precious bottles of Mumm, Monteiro went crazy. He was leaping up and down and spraying champagne like a man possessed - never mind that he had come third in a race of only four cars. This was Massa yesterday. If Ferrari continue to do as well as this, Massa will soon develop a taste for bubbly. And rather good bubbly too!
So the party was ruined for McLaren by Ferrari but it was also partly ruined for Honda. Rubens Barrichello showed that he is finally getting used to the car and secured a worthy fifth place. His team-mate, our old English friend Jenson Button, should have squeezed in behind him at sixth place. Unfortunately this was not the plan his engine was working towards. His engine was designed - by some idiot I suppose - to last only 28 laps. No more. Sure enough, in lap 29, Bang! Somebody up there does not like Jenson. There is a street guy I know in Brixton who offers "praying services". You pay him for each prayer and he adjusts the price depending on the intended purpose. If you want a promotion at work, he charges £100. To gain the favour of a woman is dependent on the appearance of the woman. If she is a babe he charges £1,000. If she is, well, wanting in the looks department, he charges £50. I shall see if I can negotiate a fee for prayers for Button. He needs them. Watch this space.
It is only a week until Fernando Alonso has to face his home crowd in Barcelona. Everyone in Spain desperately hopes that they won't be seeing a German leaping and punching the air on the podium on Sunday. The King of Spain, Juan Carlos I, personally attends the Spanish Grand Prix and is on hand to dish out the silverware at the end of the race. He is a genial fellow but I rather think that even he will not be smiling as broadly as is his wont if he has to shake hands yet again with Michael Schumacher.
It is only a week away. So much to do, so little time…
Gitau
8 May 2006
I don't enjoy the taste of humble pie. It makes me feel silly when I have to eat it, so I am walking about with a face like a wet Wednesday (I got soaked in a downpour this morning - so that hasn't helped things either). I got it wrong. Forget about Michael Schumacher retiring at the end of this season. He won't. Forget about Ferrari being washed-up. They are not. Ferrari are back. Yesterday was vintage Ferrari; a Brawn-engineered-Schumacher-driven performance. Schumacher began the race behind pole-setter and world champion Fernando Alonso. He stuck to the back of Alonso's car like glue. He inhaled Alonso's dirty exhaust fumes for lap after lap after lap. Edge of the seat stuff.
The strategy was two pronged: either force the leader to make a mistake or leap-frog him in the pit-stops. Neither driver made any errors. Both drove superlatively. The stage was set for master strategist Ross Brawn. At the first round of pit stops. Renault brought Alonso in ahead of Schumacher. Schumacher stayed out for one more crucial lap while Ross Brawn calculated how much fuel had gone into Alonso's Renault. When Schumacher came in at the end of his lap, he knew that he would emerge behind Alonso; thus making Renault and Alonso think they were in the clear. Oh no. Come the second round of pit-stops, Ferrari knew exactly when Alonso was going to come in. Once he did, the instruction was delivered to the mighty Michael Schumacher. "You have three laps, matey," they said. "Jawohl!" replied the German, "zis I can do!" Not only did he find the necessary three or so seconds, he found about seven. I had forgotten what Chipo once told me. "Michael Schumacher is an android," she said. That is the problem. I should have realised this on Saturday after qualifying. In the press conference Alonso looked like a lobster. Schumacher looked like he had been down the road for a casual stroll.
The chap who should have come third, honey-loving Kimi Raikkonen, found his path blocked by the other Ferrari of Felipe Massa. The Brazilian was delighted at his eventual third place. It was his first ever visit to the podium. The last time I saw a chap spray champagne with such vim was the farcical United States Grand Prix of 2005. All the teams except Ferrari and Jordan had boycotted the race. Jordan was such a no-hoper that its Russian owner had promised a million dollars to any driver who made it to the podium. Nobody expected that he would have to pay out. But, as things turned out, Tiago Monteiro - useless rookie - found himself on the third step of the podium. While the Ferrari drivers hung their heads in shame and took the boos and catcalls of the American crowd without touching their precious bottles of Mumm, Monteiro went crazy. He was leaping up and down and spraying champagne like a man possessed - never mind that he had come third in a race of only four cars. This was Massa yesterday. If Ferrari continue to do as well as this, Massa will soon develop a taste for bubbly. And rather good bubbly too!
So the party was ruined for McLaren by Ferrari but it was also partly ruined for Honda. Rubens Barrichello showed that he is finally getting used to the car and secured a worthy fifth place. His team-mate, our old English friend Jenson Button, should have squeezed in behind him at sixth place. Unfortunately this was not the plan his engine was working towards. His engine was designed - by some idiot I suppose - to last only 28 laps. No more. Sure enough, in lap 29, Bang! Somebody up there does not like Jenson. There is a street guy I know in Brixton who offers "praying services". You pay him for each prayer and he adjusts the price depending on the intended purpose. If you want a promotion at work, he charges £100. To gain the favour of a woman is dependent on the appearance of the woman. If she is a babe he charges £1,000. If she is, well, wanting in the looks department, he charges £50. I shall see if I can negotiate a fee for prayers for Button. He needs them. Watch this space.
It is only a week until Fernando Alonso has to face his home crowd in Barcelona. Everyone in Spain desperately hopes that they won't be seeing a German leaping and punching the air on the podium on Sunday. The King of Spain, Juan Carlos I, personally attends the Spanish Grand Prix and is on hand to dish out the silverware at the end of the race. He is a genial fellow but I rather think that even he will not be smiling as broadly as is his wont if he has to shake hands yet again with Michael Schumacher.
It is only a week away. So much to do, so little time…
Gitau
8 May 2006
posted by Gitau at 11:55 am
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