The Monaco Grand Prix
"Monaco is like Lamu," said Rashid Khamis sagely. I was waiting for him to say more. He did not. Instead he extracted a packet of cigarettes from the folds of the long sheet he wore in place of a pair of trousers, lit a cigarette and dreamily stared out to sea.
I must admit, I was perplexed. Here I was sitting with Chipo in a dhow sailing away from Lamu "airport" (on the mainland) towards Lamu island. The dhow was manned by a Swahili chap who doubled up as a luggage porter. And this chap was talking about Monaco. What? First, I could not see how Lamu bore any relation to Monaco. Monaco is renowned for annually hosting the most prestigious motor racing event in the world. There are no cars on Lamu island, only donkeys. Secondly, what the devil did a semi-literate porter sailing a fifteenth century Arab vessel in the Indian Ocean know about Monaco? Thirdly, what was the context of this fellow's curious statement?
The truth is that nothing about Monaco is "normal" or ordinary. It is a very densely populated playground for the super-rich. There is no place like it on the planet. It exists for no greater purpose than to service sybaritic desires. Monaco is about luxury and excess. This is what makes it the ideal location for a Formula 1 event. Formula 1 adds nothing to enhance human existence. In fact it does the reverse. Formula 1 is about a colossal waste of resources and woeful environmental damage. But then Formula 1 is also about the human love of luxury and glamour. That is why Formula 1 exists. Ditto Monaco. Swigging champagne and playing roulette in fancy casinos does not contribute greatly to poverty eradication and world peace. But it is fun. No surprise, then that the most prestigious event on the Formula 1 calendar by a very long chalk is the Monaco Grand Prix.
Rashid Khamis did know something about Monaco. You see, he unlike most of us poor people on this planet, had been there more than once. Bizarre, I thought. Unbelievable, even. But true. The reason was a lot more prosaic than you might think. Prince Albert II, ruler of Monaco and famous international playboy, likes to end each year on holiday in Lamu. He has a holiday home there. Rashid Khamis had faithfully served the Prince in Lamu on several occasions and, for his trouble, had been rewarded with trips to Paris and Monte Carlo. Lucky bastard! I still struggle to understand where he saw the similarities between a tiny, millionaire-infested principality on the French Riviera and an Indian Ocean island off the impoverished East African coast. Perhaps Rashid saw Monaco in Lamu as he negotiated his way round the handful of yachts anchored in the Lamu bay but I still can't see it. None of the yachts belong to the Waswahili, as far as I know, and could well be simply stopping off in Lamu before heading home to Monaco!
I like to look out for the celebrities at the start of every Monaco Grand Prix. Puff Daddy turned up a couple of years ago with a massive, unlit, cigar in his mouth and Naomi Campbell on his arm. Last year Elle McPherson was seen struggling to get her face into the picture while Boris Becker hogged the TV microphone. David Beckham was modelling a new tattoo for the cameras in Monaco not too long ago. You have to be seen at the Monaco Grand Prix if you have any desire to stay on the A list of celebrities. You get your agent to do the rounds discreetly scrounging invites so that you are there as the guest of, say, Bernie Ecclestone or Flavio Briatore. Formula 1 is irrelevant. It is all about being seen at the right event!
Who will be the driver privileged enough to approach Prince Albert's tent on Sunday afternoon and receive the most coveted trophy in motor racing? Will it be last year's winner, Kimi Raikkonen? Are we, perhaps, going to see Fernando Alonso being the first Spaniard to add his name to the list of winners going back as far as 1929 - farther than any other race? Is Michael Schumacher finally going to equal Ayrton Senna's record of six wins at Monaco? The truth is that predicting the winner of the Monaco Grand Prix is well nigh impossible. No circuit produces more surprises than Monaco.
If it was not for the glitz and the history, a race round the narrow streets of Monte Carlo would have been banned a very long time ago. There are no run-off areas for cars to recover into when drivers make mistakes and spin off the circuit. Make a mistake in Monaco and your race is over. You will crash your car into the barriers and wreck it beyond driveability. The dramatic changes of speed are truly something to gape at. 20 mph round Casino Square and then 180 mph through the tunnel. Stunning. Not a race for the faint hearted. It is no surprise then that the master of Monaco, the only man to have won the race six times - five of them consecutively - was none other than the racing master, Ayrton Senna.
The lack of space at this circuit makes overtaking hellishly difficult. With the new qualifying format, I expect, therefore that Saturday's qualifying will probably be even more exciting than Sunday's race. Every driver will be doing all they can in the first shoot-out session so as not to be dropped from the next session. The anxiety will be such that mistakes will be made. I will not be in the slightest bit surprised if incidents cause the session to over-run its allotted hour. Look out for tempers and the odd tantrum.
I can't predict very much about the race but I can certainly predict this: it is going to be exciting. Guiseppe, my genius deli guy, has promised me "a fantastico surprise-ah". I am looking forward to it. Guiseppe never disappoints. Neither does the Monaco Grand Prix. Do it in some style. Make the most of a great race. Above all,
Enjoy Monaco!
Gitau
26 May 2006
I must admit, I was perplexed. Here I was sitting with Chipo in a dhow sailing away from Lamu "airport" (on the mainland) towards Lamu island. The dhow was manned by a Swahili chap who doubled up as a luggage porter. And this chap was talking about Monaco. What? First, I could not see how Lamu bore any relation to Monaco. Monaco is renowned for annually hosting the most prestigious motor racing event in the world. There are no cars on Lamu island, only donkeys. Secondly, what the devil did a semi-literate porter sailing a fifteenth century Arab vessel in the Indian Ocean know about Monaco? Thirdly, what was the context of this fellow's curious statement?
The truth is that nothing about Monaco is "normal" or ordinary. It is a very densely populated playground for the super-rich. There is no place like it on the planet. It exists for no greater purpose than to service sybaritic desires. Monaco is about luxury and excess. This is what makes it the ideal location for a Formula 1 event. Formula 1 adds nothing to enhance human existence. In fact it does the reverse. Formula 1 is about a colossal waste of resources and woeful environmental damage. But then Formula 1 is also about the human love of luxury and glamour. That is why Formula 1 exists. Ditto Monaco. Swigging champagne and playing roulette in fancy casinos does not contribute greatly to poverty eradication and world peace. But it is fun. No surprise, then that the most prestigious event on the Formula 1 calendar by a very long chalk is the Monaco Grand Prix.
Rashid Khamis did know something about Monaco. You see, he unlike most of us poor people on this planet, had been there more than once. Bizarre, I thought. Unbelievable, even. But true. The reason was a lot more prosaic than you might think. Prince Albert II, ruler of Monaco and famous international playboy, likes to end each year on holiday in Lamu. He has a holiday home there. Rashid Khamis had faithfully served the Prince in Lamu on several occasions and, for his trouble, had been rewarded with trips to Paris and Monte Carlo. Lucky bastard! I still struggle to understand where he saw the similarities between a tiny, millionaire-infested principality on the French Riviera and an Indian Ocean island off the impoverished East African coast. Perhaps Rashid saw Monaco in Lamu as he negotiated his way round the handful of yachts anchored in the Lamu bay but I still can't see it. None of the yachts belong to the Waswahili, as far as I know, and could well be simply stopping off in Lamu before heading home to Monaco!
I like to look out for the celebrities at the start of every Monaco Grand Prix. Puff Daddy turned up a couple of years ago with a massive, unlit, cigar in his mouth and Naomi Campbell on his arm. Last year Elle McPherson was seen struggling to get her face into the picture while Boris Becker hogged the TV microphone. David Beckham was modelling a new tattoo for the cameras in Monaco not too long ago. You have to be seen at the Monaco Grand Prix if you have any desire to stay on the A list of celebrities. You get your agent to do the rounds discreetly scrounging invites so that you are there as the guest of, say, Bernie Ecclestone or Flavio Briatore. Formula 1 is irrelevant. It is all about being seen at the right event!
Who will be the driver privileged enough to approach Prince Albert's tent on Sunday afternoon and receive the most coveted trophy in motor racing? Will it be last year's winner, Kimi Raikkonen? Are we, perhaps, going to see Fernando Alonso being the first Spaniard to add his name to the list of winners going back as far as 1929 - farther than any other race? Is Michael Schumacher finally going to equal Ayrton Senna's record of six wins at Monaco? The truth is that predicting the winner of the Monaco Grand Prix is well nigh impossible. No circuit produces more surprises than Monaco.
If it was not for the glitz and the history, a race round the narrow streets of Monte Carlo would have been banned a very long time ago. There are no run-off areas for cars to recover into when drivers make mistakes and spin off the circuit. Make a mistake in Monaco and your race is over. You will crash your car into the barriers and wreck it beyond driveability. The dramatic changes of speed are truly something to gape at. 20 mph round Casino Square and then 180 mph through the tunnel. Stunning. Not a race for the faint hearted. It is no surprise then that the master of Monaco, the only man to have won the race six times - five of them consecutively - was none other than the racing master, Ayrton Senna.
The lack of space at this circuit makes overtaking hellishly difficult. With the new qualifying format, I expect, therefore that Saturday's qualifying will probably be even more exciting than Sunday's race. Every driver will be doing all they can in the first shoot-out session so as not to be dropped from the next session. The anxiety will be such that mistakes will be made. I will not be in the slightest bit surprised if incidents cause the session to over-run its allotted hour. Look out for tempers and the odd tantrum.
I can't predict very much about the race but I can certainly predict this: it is going to be exciting. Guiseppe, my genius deli guy, has promised me "a fantastico surprise-ah". I am looking forward to it. Guiseppe never disappoints. Neither does the Monaco Grand Prix. Do it in some style. Make the most of a great race. Above all,
Enjoy Monaco!
Gitau
26 May 2006
posted by Gitau at 11:29 am
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