The Korean Grand Prix

Writing while German bombs were raining down on England in 1941, George Orwell had this to say about the stechschritt or, as it is pejoratively known in English, the goose-step:



"The goose-step is one of the most horrible sights in the world, far more terrifying than a dive-bomber. It is simply an affirmation of naked power; contained in it, quite consciously and intentionally, is the vision of a boot crashing down on a face. Its ugliness is part of its essence, for what it is saying is ‘Yes, I am ugly, and you daren't laugh at me’, like the bully who makes faces at his victim."

Orwell was writing this in description of the parade step used by the German and Italian armies of the time. His words haunted me as I watched television images of military celebrations marking the 65th anniversary of the Workers party at which Korean soldiers were marching to salute Kim Jong-il and his chosen successor, the podgy youngster Kim Jong-un. If Orwell despised the German goose-step, its Korean version would have turned his blood to ice. Theirs has all the intimidating elements of the goose-step of earlier times but includes a curious bobbing step which looks designed to wreak havoc on the soldiers’ hamstrings. Most disquietingly, the jogging effect means that the soldier’s right boot comes crashing down with thunderous ferocity. One is left in no doubt that the bayonet at the end of the stiffly grasped rifle will be unhesitatingly applied towards skewering one’s guts.

“What in the name of anything sacred has Bernie Ecclestone gone and done now,” I asked myself. “It is bad enough that he allows Formula One to be the plaything of Arab potentates but this is of a different order of magnitude. A Grand Prix in as ghastly a place as this? He has surely gone mad!” I was about to write an angry letter of complaint when flooding back came long remembered scenes of a black chap in Canadian colours destroying the world record for the 100 metres dash and raising his right finger aloft as he crossed the finishing line. The pictures of a drug-infused Ben Johnson were shot in Seoul in 1988, not Pyongyang. Korea, after all, has been a divided country since the end of World War II.

The northern bit has goose-stepping soldiers reinforcing the most totalitarian regime in the world while the southern bit has all the ingredients of a top flight Formula One destination: fast cars, luxury yachts, glamorous women and designer shops. If anything, South Korea should have had its own F1 race many years before the Arabs were allowed to get in on the act. My failure to distinguish between the two conspicuously different Koreas is understandable when you consider that the powers that be chose to call this weekend’s motor racing event the Korean Grand Prix and not the South Korean Grand Prix. Or maybe Bernie Ecclestone knows something about politics that the rest of the world does not. Perhaps he has such faith in the unifying magnetism of Formula One that he expects the fact of there being a “Korean Grand Prix” will be a self fulfilling prophecy for the country itself.

I will leave that for others to consider while I consider this weekend’s Grand Prix and what it may do for the world championship. First, despite having previously demonstrated their skill at hosting a major international sporting event, South Korea have seemed woefully ill-prepared for the arrival of the F1 circus. The circuit is so brand new that the tarmac was laid only a fortnight ago. Tarmac of racing thickness needs at least three months to "bed in" properly, else oil rises to the top and makes the track dangerously slippery. Notwithstanding this, the FIA have approved the Yeongam circuit, so we have to accept that it is safe. Doubtless, though, it will be difficult to drive.

Add this to the obvious fact that none of the world championship contenders knows what Yeongam is like to drive and we have the perfect makings of an unpredictable race. Yeongam will result in one of three possibilities.

First, the two McLaren drivers getting back in the mix and reintroducing the five-way championship we have enjoyed for a good part of this season. This could easily happen if both Red Bulls take each other out and Ferrari have a bad day.

Second, one or both of the McLarens make a mess of things and the race is left to be fought between Red Bull and Ferrari and a three way championship results.

Third, Ferrari is eliminated and the championship comes down to a straight fight between the two Red Bull drivers.

Lots to think about as you contemplate how much to sacrifice in your wager at the bookies. A tip for you: Hamilton knows how to master a track through nothing more than simulators better than any other driver.

Enjoy Korea!

Gitau

22 October 2010