The most exciting driver line-up gets fired up in Bahrain

Have you ever wondered what in the world would persuade a young, able-bodied man to give up his life willingly for a cause? Do you not feel flummoxed by the thought of a fellow strapping a few kilos of explosives onto his chest, getting on a train and blowing himself up along with several others? Or the guy who flies a plane into a high rise building? I admit there have been moments when I have felt an aching desire to leap off a bridge – particularly the time when Paulina, the statuesque Venezuelan beauty queen, threatened to disembowel me if she ever laid eyes on me again – but these have been very few, fleeting and by no means overwhelming.

Some have argued that there is contained in an obscure “holy” scripture a promise of seventy-two available virgins to ravish in paradise for the man who gives his life up for the cause but I have never been convinced by this fallacious line of reasoning. First, it ignores the motivation of women who blow themselves up. Secondly, it is hopelessly naïve. Anyone who thinks that a multiplicity of women is invariably good news does not know enough about women. If you are persuaded by this flawed thinking you might want to spare a thought for poor old Jacob Zuma. Despite having three wives and two fiancés at his disposal, the South African president still feels the need surreptitiously to seek solace in the arms of single young women to whom he is neither married nor engaged.

I think the answer to the mystery may lie in the human need for thrills. Never mind prohibition or bible-bashing prophets of doom, human beings will always find a way of getting pissed, high, stoned, spaced-out, slaughtered etc. Similarly, for some people, nothing can substitute the ultimate adrenaline rush one gets from pushing oneself to the limits of survival and saying “if I die doing this, what a way to go!” Formula One drivers fall into this category of human being. When they don their helmets so that all you can see are the whites of their eyes and strap themselves into machines so light, so fast and so exposed, you know that the adrenaline coursing through their veins could fire up a mini nuclear reactor.

Nothing else can explain what would cause a young man with bags of money, good looks and fame to choose to carry on racing Formula One cars after having achieved a world championship. You would have thought the thing to do would be travel the world, chase skirts and live life to the full. Most humans – certainly yours truly – see eminent sense in that line of thinking. Finnish Formula One world champion and champion lothario, Kimi Raikkonen, certainly did. But what about chaps like Lewis Hamilton, Jenson Button or Fernando Alonso? What – most puzzlingly – about Michael Schumacher?

Well, we are about to start ten months of discovering just why. After five agonisingly long and bitterly cold (for those of us in the northern hemisphere) months, the Formula One thrills begin again this weekend in Bahrain. I would normally be complaining loudly that my least favourite circuit has been selected as the venue for the opening race of the 60th year of Formula One racing but that would be discourteous. The driver and team line-up being served up for our delectation is probably the most exciting I have seen since I began watching motor racing.

The anticipation of watching seven world class drivers, each with an at least credible chance of achieving the world championship causes my nerves to tingle with elation. The first four - Jenson Button (McLaren), Lewis Hamilton (McLaren), Fernando Alonso (Ferrari) and Michael Schumacher (Mercedes) - are all world champions and have by all accounts almost equally competitive cars for the first time in many years. The chasing three - Felipe Massa (Ferrari), Sebastian Vettel (Red Bull) and Mark Webber (Red Bull) – are each about as eager to win their first championship as a chap emerging from a year’s solitary confinement and being presented with a nubile young lady to slate his thirst.

Which one will fortune favour? I am hesitant about bold predictions because there are, in the immortal words of former United States Secretary of Defence, Donald Rumsfeld, unknown unknowns; that is to say there are things about this year we don’t know we don’t know.

Two significant rule changes will mix things up in ways we cannot possibly predict. The first is a ban on refuelling during races. This means that Ross Brawn’s clever overtaking strategies involving expertly timed pit-stops will now be verboten. It also means that drivers will have to learn to cope with a car that gets lighter and quicker as the race draws to a close.

The second rule change is the premium now placed on race wins. The point scoring system has been re-jigged so that the top ten cars get points in the following order:

1st : 25 points
2nd : 18 points
3rd : 15 points
4th : 12 points
5th : 10 points
6th : 8 points
7th : 6 points
8th : 4 points
9th : 2 points
10th : 1 point

Put these two changes together in your head and the permutations become interesting.

If my life depended upon it who would I put my money on? It all depends on who gets an advantage earliest in the season. The chap who clocks up the most wins quickly will stand the best chance. Hand on heart I would go for Fernando Alonso. He has yet to live down the humiliation he suffered at the hands of Lewis Hamilton in 2007 and the frustration of having not had a competitive car for two seasons. He is now at the helm of a blood red Ferrari, a team with everything to prove after two misery-filled seasons.

It will not be easy, though. There are so many races – 19 – and so many drivers capable of winning them that it doesn’t take too much imagination to work out that the winning margin in November is likely to be very slim indeed,

There is a long way to go before then and a race in the desert to be savoured this weekend. I have little doubt you will love 2010 but first, open a bottle on Sunday and,

Enjoy Bahrain!

Gitau
12 March 2010