The Chinese Grand Prix

When I was a boy it was easy to work out the country of origin of any of my toys. If I raced a toy car along the floor with gusto and the wheels did not fall off it, I knew that the thing in my hand was a genuine Matchbox from good old Blighty. If its wheels fell off after five minutes I wouldn't even have to look at the "Made in.." label underneath the toy: it was obviously "Made in China". Things have moved on rather a lot since those days. The days when China produced lorry-load after lorry-load of cheap tat are not quite over - they still produce tonnes of it - but they are now complimented by more sophisticated manufacturing. You can now buy a BMW with the barely believable label "Made in China". Soon you will be able to buy a Chinese manufactured Airbus. This is massive progress. In keeping with this progressive thinking, it was inevitable that China would demand to be taken seriously and insist on hosting motor racing's badge of sophistication and engineering excellence: a Grand Prix. For the third time ever, Formula One does its thing in Shanghai this weekend.

The Shanghai circuit does not do any disservice to the "S" in its title (all the best circuits have names beginning with an "s": Spa, Silverstone and Sepang). It is a fast circuit which is heavy on tyres and good for overtaking. It is difficult to tell at this stage which of the two championship contending teams it suits better. Ferrari won in 2004 with Rubens Barrichello and Renault won in 2005 with Fernando Alonso, so both have a positive history in Shanghai. I think this race will come down to hunger. Which of the two drivers' championship contenders is hungrier, Michael Schumacher or Fernando Alonso?

Michael Schumacher has announced that he will retire from motor racing at the end of this season. A record he is particularly proud of is having achieved a win at every circuit on the current calendar bar two, Turkey and China. Turkey has gone now, so he can limit the no-wins list to one by winning in Shanghai. Leaving aside the championship implications for a minute, Schumacher has a powerful incentive to perform well in China: his reputation. At his first outing in Shanghai in 2004 he, bizarrely, had a collision with a no-hoper in the parade lap which effectively destroyed his race. Last year Ferrari simply weren't playing in the top league. Schumacher needs to demonstrate that there is no jinx on the Shanghai International Circuit. He needs to prove that he is as capable of winning there as anywhere. It used to be said that Silverstone was jinxed against the German but not any more. Schumacher needs to do a Silverstone on Shanghai. He has shown that he can go fast there - the lap record for the circuit was set by him in 2004 - but needs to translate this into ten points. If he scored the full whack of points and Alonso came second, the two would be level-pegged in points for the final two races of the season. I can think of no more powerful incentive than that.

Fernando Alonso too has good reasons to feel aching hunger pangs. First, he knows better than anybody else that this season provides him with perhaps the best ever opportunity to clinch a second world championship and, thus, move into the history books (one championship is simply not enough). Next year he will be racing with the unpredictable and unreliable McLaren while the man who would be king, Kimi Raikkonen, will be in the bullet-proof Ferrari. At the same time, another speedy Finn, Heikki Kovalainen, will be taking his seat at Renault and seeking to prove to the world that he also is worthy of being spoken of in the same breath as Alonso and Raikkonen. Secondly, beating Schumacher - the man with the unbeatable statistics - would give any driver satisfaction beyond measure. It would assure Alonso that 2005 was not a fluke; that even in a year when Ferrari were competitive he was able to be crowned world number one. Finally, to earn the championship when - as he has declared - the powers that be are ganged up against him would be the ultimate way of sticking two fingers up at the FIA.

Much as I would dearly love to see Alonso do it again this year, I must admit that the momentum seems to be moving Ferrari's way. Renault have not won a race since Canada - six whole races ago. That is a lot. If you exclude the weather-occasioned aberration in Hungary, Ferrari have been on the top step at each of these races. Michael Schumacher won at Indianapolis, Magny Cours and Hockenheim. His winning record was interrupted by his team-mate in Turkey but he was on hand to take the prize silver three weeks ago at Monza. When Ferrari are on a roll like this they are like a juggernaut. It is not beyond the realm of possibility that the German android could clinch all three remaining races and wrap the championship up beyond question.

The bad news for Alonso is, now that it is official that Kimi Raikkonen will be joining Ferrari in 2007, Ferrari have two drivers, not one, assisting Schumacher this weekend. In addition to assisting Schumacher, Raikkonen has incentives of his own for doing well in Shanghai. First, he would not like to end an entire season without a single win - that would be bad form. Secondly, he needs to throw down the gauntlet before Alonso. He needs to say to the Spaniard "look, matey, don't forget about me - I am as good as if not better than you but I haven't been given the right toys to play with yet!" Felipe Massa suffered an engine change this morning which means he will be demoted ten places on Sunday and, therefore, less able to influence things. Keep your eyes on the ice man...

It is bound to be edge of the sofa stuff, my friends. Make the most of it and sip at something refreshing. Tsingtao goes down rather well with spicy spare ribs. I thoroughly recommend it and hope that, like me, you will,

Enjoy China!

Gitau
29 September 2006

Schumacher leaves the stage

It is official now. Michael Schumacher has announced that he will retire from motor racing at the end of this Formula One season. The extent of Schumacher's achievements is such that there is little good any pundit can do in attempting to put words to them. I set the record out for you in a post script to this posting. Read it - slowly - and marvel. There will never again be a list that reads like that.

I became interested in Formula One motor racing at about the time Michael Schumacher was beginning his phenomenal career. The year was 1992 (a year after Schumacher first came on the scene at Spa and had everybody goggle-eyed in disbelief) and I was sharing a flat in London with a curious toff called Chris. My flat-mate indulged three main interests: polo, art and motor racing. If he wasn't charging about on a horse in Gloucestershire, he would be among other amateur artists drawing, sketching or sculpting this that or the other. When I moved in with Chris he had started a club of sorts which brought together four or five amateur artists to sketch the female nude (which has inspired great art through the centuries). The artists would meet in Chris's flat every second Sunday afternoon and have a naked female model sit for them while they sketched her. The twist to the tale was this: they would do so while watching Formula One races. Chris said it was all about the poetry and symmetry of the curves of the racing cars and the manner in which they complemented the perfect female form in all its wondrous beauty - or something artistically poncy like that.

Typically, I would leave the flat on these Sundays and let the artists go about their business uninterrupted. One day, I was walking out as the sitting model for that afternoon was walking in. She had been running so as not to be late and her cheeks were flushed and her beautifully formed chest was heaving. She was about as good a specimen of female beauty as can be imagined. What to do? There was nothing for it. I raced down the road and bought myself an artist's sketch book and some crayons. I kid you not, this is how I got into Formula One. Eyes swivelling between boob and tire, from buttock to paddock, I was hooked.

The German rookie in the Benetton-Renault at the Belgian Grand Prix in 1992 was so outstanding that I began to doubt what I was seeing. Even though I was crap at the sketching - my interpretation of a perfectly formed foot looked something like a chicken - I needed to stay on terms with the artists so as to have something to contribute to the fortnightly Sunday afternoon sessions before a naked beauty and a television screen. I immersed myself in Formula One history. I watched as many videos of old races as I could get my hands on and read as much literature as I could find. Having done all this, I was baffled by the way Schumacher approached corners on a race track. Nobody else did it like him. The manner in which he entered the corners demonstrated raw courage and superlative skill. He was awesome.

What has always bothered me about Schumacher is what I perceive to be his self-doubt. Blessed with as much talent as he has and having broken every record there has ever been, Michael Schumacher still finds it necessary to play dirty. Admittedly, he learned this from Ayrton Senna. If there has ever been a bastard in motor racing it was Senna. He was a prize sh1t. Rules meant nothing to the Brazilian. If you stood in the way of him achieving a victory and he could gain advantage by fouling you, he would do so with abandon. The difference between Schumacher and Senna, though, is Senna simply did not care what people thought. He was in your face. Schumacher cares. He tries to pretend that he is playing by the rules when he blatantly is not. Monaco 2006 showed both sides of this flawed genius. Schumacher stupidly parked his car so as to ruin Fernando Alonso's qualifying lap. Disqualified and relegated to the back of the grid, he then produced the most impressive performance ever seen at Monaco by charging all the way up to fifth place against all the odds. The only way I can explain this is believing that there are some self-doubt demons lurking deep within Schumacher's psyche which get aroused from time to time. How else do you justify the man's extraordinary behaviour?

As (statistically at least) the greatest driver exits the stage, we can look forward to better days. To days when Kimi Raikkonen and Fernando Alonso will go head to head; the Finn in Ferrari red and the Spaniard in Mclaren silver. It is not without considerable relief that Alonso waves goodbye to the seven times world champion. He does so with a bitter taste in the mouth. Alonso and the Renault team are convinced that the stewards at Monza fixed things so as to ensure a Schumacher victory. Alonso was found guilty of blocking Felipe Massa in qualifying on Saturday and received the super-harsh penalty of having his three best qualifying times deleted from the time-sheets. Starting from tenth on the grid and flustered, Alonso overdrove his Renault engine on Sunday. Ten laps from the end and the engine had had enough. Bang! it went. Alonso must have felt that the same thing had happened to his world championship.

The world championship is now wide open. The gap between Alonso and Schumacher is now just two points. Crucially, though, the momentum is clearly in the German's favour. It is going to be very close…

Gitau
11 September 2006

Schumacher's Record

World Titles: Seven (1994, 1995, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004)
Longest reign as champion: Four years 11 months 17 days (Oct 8 2000 to Sept 25 2005)
Most Wins: 90
Most pole positions: 68
Most wins in a single season: 13 (2004)
Consecutive Grand Prix wins in a season: 7 (2004)
Most second places: 43
Most fastest race laps: 75
Most races led: 139
Most laps in the lead: 5,047
Most points: 1,354 (includes 78 from 1997 when he was excluded from the final standings after a collision with Canadian Jacques Villeneuve in the title-deciding race)
Most points in a single season: 148 (2004)
Most successive seasons with a win: 15
Most podiums: 153
Most wins at the same grand prix: 8 (France)
Most wins from pole position: 40
Most successive races in the points: 24 (2001-2003)
Most successive podiums: 19 (2001-2002) Schumacher is the only driver to have gone through an entire season on the podium (in 2002)
Biggest winning points margin: 67 (2002)
Fastest title: 2002 (won in Germany in July with six races to spare)
Most Team points: Michael Schumacher and Rubens Barrichello have the most one-two finishes of any team in Formula One history. They scored 24 one-twos between 2000 and 2005.

The Italian Grand Prix

Many years ago, I sat on a high speed TGV train from Rome to Bologna opposite one of the most stunningly beautiful women I have ever seen. The layout of the train carriage was typical of any modern intercity train: a single aisle with seats grouped in two rows of four seats; one set of seats facing the direction of travel and the other doing the opposite. Next to me was an elderly lady avoiding the gaze of her husband seated opposite her by staring out of the window at the countryside rapidly disappearing at 200 mph. Across the aisle was another elderly couple. Next to the couple, facing the direction of travel, was a well-built young man fast asleep with his head against the window. I was attempting to read my Italian travel guide but the beauty opposite me was too distracting. My eyes kept wandering up from the pages of the book in my hand to her exceptional face, neck and chest.

After about ten minutes of this I began to think rationally. The girl was obviously travelling alone. From the way she was staring out of the window, I could see that she was clearly bored. If I tried speaking to her, I would lose nothing. She would either ignore me or engage in conversation with me. So, I was either going to be left alone to stare at my book and the girl or enjoy some charming company for a couple of hours. I decided to dive in.
"Buon giorno," I said. The girl smiled sweetly and replied "Buon giorno." I was in business.

For the next half hour I chatted away with my gorgeous companion in greater happiness than I had ever known aboard a train. We spoke about everything and nothing. It was lovely. She giggled and laughed out cheerily at my stories and seemed genuinely happy to be in my company. I was suffused with an indescribable warmness.

Then the young man across the aisle woke up. He raised his head from the window and heard the sound of the girl's laughter. He looked across the aisle and saw the girl flashing me one of her unforgettable smiles. The fact the young man was separated from the girl and I by two occupied seats and an aisle suggested to me that he had nothing to do with the girl. Wrong suggestion. The young man was animated by the girl's smile. Girls' smiles can do strange things to excitable young men. He leapt over the elderly lady and in one single bound was by my side. My recollection of this is somewhat blurred by the swiftness and intensity of what followed but I can safely say that I remember finding myself on my back in the aisle with the young man's knee in my chest. A torrent of Italian abuse followed down my ears and heavy blows rained on my head. I would surely have been despatched to meet my maker had the girl and the two elderly couples not intervened and restrained the young man. One doesn't forget things like that in a hurry!

Anyway, the point of this little tale is that it represents everything about Italy: technological prowess, beauty and passion. Italy is one of the most amazing countries in the world. The best food and wine is Italian; the most beautiful cities are Italian; and the most gorgeous women are Italian. It is no surprise then that the most amazing sports car marques in the world are also Italian. Nobody else can combine these three things as profoundly as the Italians. A Porsche may be super-quick and very nice to drive but isn't quite a Bugatti, is it? A Corvette may have some grunt but does it have any of the charm or elegance of a Lamborghini? An Aston Martin may be Prince Charles and James Bond's means of fast conveyance but would you have one instead of a Maserati? Yes, the Jaguar E-type is a legendary motor car but there is no name in the sports car firmament that is more legendary than Ferrari. Ferrari is the ultimate sports car. Why? Because Ferrari is, above all else, a Formula One racing team. Ferrari exists for Formula One.

With this in mind, we go this weekend to the home of Italian motor racing and Ferrari's home race: Monza. You might argue that the San Marino Grand Prix - which takes place in Imola in the spring - is Ferrari's real home race because of the proximity of the circuit to the Ferrari factory in Maranello. I would argue differently. Treat the Italian Grand Prix like you would an Italian meal and things will begin to make sense. Imola is the antipasti, the appetiser, the event that gets the F1 digestive juices flowing. Monza is the carne, the t-bone steak of Italian motor racing, the main event! In the world of F1 in the hands of Bernie Ecclestone and his clownish sidekick at the FIA, Max Moseley, there are next to no certainties. Here is one: there will always be an Italian Grand Prix. That I can guarantee.

This weekend's race looks to me like a damage limitation weekend for Renault. Since 2000, Ferrari have been beaten at Monza only twice. First by BMW-Williams in 2001 and then by McLaren-Mercedes in 2005. Both times, to the annoyance of the proud Italian team, it was by a cheeky chappie raised near the coca fields of Colombia, Juan Pablo Montoya. Since the Colombian is no longer around to ruin the Ferrari party (much to Chipo's chagrin), I expect nothing less than a Ferrari one-two on Sunday. Felipe Massa is on top form at the moment and highly energised by taking his inaugural victory in Turkey a fortnight ago. Michael Schumacher knows he has no choice but to win this race if he is to stay in the running for the championship after seeing the gap to Fernando Alonso widen in Turkey from ten to twelve points. Make no mistake, Ferrari are at home and they are taking no prisoners.

Fernando Alonso's best bet would be to split the two Ferraris in qualifying. Second place would be an excellent result for him. But there is a joker in the pack: Kimi Raikkonen. Renault have let the cat out of the bag. By naming Fernando Alonso's replacement as Heikki Kovalainen they have disclosed the worst kept secret in Formula One: Kimi Raikkonen is moving to Ferrari next year. Everyone knows that Schumacher wants to leave on a high. There is no bigger high in F1 than the world championship. If he doesn't win the championship this year, he may hang around and give it a whirl next year. I don't think being Schumacher's number two ranks highly on Raikkonen's wish list for 2007. He, therefore, has a powerful incentive to usher Schumacher along towards retirement by assisting him any way he can this season. For this reason, Raikkonen will be Ferrari's third driver at the Italian Grand Prix.

Another possible variable is Jenson Button. Having scored his maiden win, he is a far more relaxed fellow and, I think, potentially a good deal more successful. I have always rated his driving style highly and feel certain that he is up there with the big boys but lacks the tools with which to get the job done.

It is going to be interesting. I have had words with Guiseppe and told him that this is no weekend for slouching. Not that he ever fails to please - it is simply that I expect him to give of his best in celebration of his home Grand Prix. I am, thus, looking forward to a healthy Italian repast washed down with something red, Lombardian and wet as I sit down and observe the action on Sunday. Doubtless, you too will,

Enjoy Monza!

Gitau
7 September 2006