Raikkonen the Rake?

As you make space in your refrigerators for the requisite beers for the Turkish Grand Prix, spare a thought for our old friend, Kimi Raikkonen. Two stories have been doing the rounds in the European newspapers this week. Depending on how you choose to look at these things, they are either highly flattering to the Finn's rakish reputation or truly damaging to a man who wishes to be taken seriously as a committed ambassador of a thinking man's sport. I reserve judgment. Both revolve round one indisputable fact: Kimi Raikkonen lost his passport and driving license in Budapest after the Hungarian Grand Prix three weeks ago.

The first story suggests that Raikkonen suffered an ordinary, understandable misfortune after the race which could, realistically, have been suffered by anybody. He, apparently, misplaced his wallet at a party thrown by the Red Bull team on the evening of the race. The wallet contained a little over $7000, his driving license, ID and passport. $7,000 seems to me to be a very large sum to be carting about in one's wallet - but then again I am neither a millionaire nor a Formula One driver!

The version of events reported by several newspapers in Italy is markedly different. According to the Italians, the Finn was found drunk by the Hungarian police at the wheel of a car. His driving license and passport were confiscated and he received a $7500 fine.

Now which version are we to believe? I will leave it up to you to draw your own conclusions but you may want to take into account Raikkonen's responses to questions asked during the drivers' press conference on Thursday.

Q: (Andrea Cremonesi - La Gazzetta dello Sport) Kimi, just to clarify gossip that we heard a few days ago: Sunday night in Budapest, did you lose your wallet or did the police take your driving licence? Which is the truth?
KR: Yes, I read that I have lost my driving licence by driving and drinking. I don’t know who wrote this story but for sure, he will get an interesting outcome from this and we will see what happens.
Q: Was that inaccurate?
KR: For sure we will see in the courts. I don’t want to say any more.

Consider a question as you make your minds up. Why would a court need to concern itself with a misplaced wallet?

Gitau
25 August 2006

The Turkish Grand Prix

Turkey's unique location between Europe and Asia has produced a confused country. Several great European civilisations have had a significant bearing on Turkish history for centuries. Turkey was home to the great Ottoman empire that lasted from the thirteenth to the twentieth century. Notwithstanding its location, Turkey desperately wants to be considered European, not Eurasian. It may be a member of Western institutions like the OECD and NATO but it has thus far been denied the ultimate prize, the Holy Grail of modern Europeanness: membership of the European Union.

The trouble is simply this: while Turkey may profess itself to be unabashedly secular, its population is predominantly Islamic. Two of the founding members of the EU, the proud French and the box-ticking Germans, believe that the EU represents more than just money; it is also about joint cultural traditions (pure tribalism, in other words). Nobody says this too loudly but the French gag on their camembert and the Germans on their bratwurst at the thought that the largest member of the EU could potentially be a state filled with, er, quasi-Arabs. "We are nothing like our neighbours to the east," cry the Turks. But their cries have fallen on deaf ears for a long time. So, some bright spark had a great idea a few years ago. "I know," he said, "what the Europeans seem to equate with civilisation is motor racing, particularly Formula 1. Let's host a Grand Prix then! What can be more European than that?"

There was a timing problem, though. The Turks had been beaten in the race to host the first ever Islamic Grand Prix by first, the Malaysians and second, the Bahrainis. "Too bad," they said to themselves, "we'll do a better job!" And so they did. The first Turkish Grand Prix was fabulous. After taking a bashing for producing crap circuits, German architect, Hermann Tilke, placed an ice-pack on his head and drew up a true humdinger of a racing circuit. The Istanbul Park Circuit is truly magnificent. Before the race last year I was sniffy about the Turkish Grand Prix. I was convinced that it was going to be another Bahrain. I could not have been more wrong. Tilke followed the lay of the land and produced a unique track with an unusual mix of hills, straights and challenging corners. There are plenty of overtaking opportunities and very wide run-off areas. This is a great race track. Like Imola and Interlagos, Istanbul is anticlockwise - which presents its own challenges.

If there is a corner on a racing circuit which is revered by one and all it is Eau Rouge at Spa (the world's greatest racing circuit bar none). I never ever thought I would see myself write this but I have no choice. For, friends, there is now a corner that is the equal of Eau Rouge. It is at the Istanbul Park Circuit. The corner is yet to be baptised and is for now simply described as "Turn 8". It is actually 4 corners joined together and takes at least 4 seconds to negotiate. Push too hard at Turn 8 and you are done for. I will never forget the sight of Chipo leaping off her seat with an almighty shriek during last year's Turkish Grand Prix when, with only two laps to go, Juan Pablo Montoya spectacularly lost it at Turn 8. He recovered and finished the race but lost second place and a McLaren one-two because Fernando Alonso was able to capitalise on his error and nick second place. Keep your eyes peeled for Turn 8; it is guaranteed to produce some excitement.

I am having difficulty predicting the outcome of this weekend's race. With only one race ever having been run in Istanbul there is no set of race comparisons to look at. I am not sure which is the ultimate tyre and chassis package. Ferrari performed dismally in Istanbul last year but then last year was probably Ferrari and Bridgestone's worst year in a decade. Renault and Michelin's form in Hungary was impressive despite Alonso's retirement, so it may be the case that the performance deficit to Ferrari of the previous three races has been sorted. I simply do not know. Both championship contenders are trying to psyche each other out. Michael Schumacher says that Ferrari are on top form and will give the entire field a bashing this weekend. Fernando Alonso thinks this is bollocks because Renault are back with a vengeance. Who to believe, eh?

Fernando Alonso wants to win in Turkey for more than just the championship points. If Michael Schumacher intends to retire at the end of this season, losing the Turkish Grand Prix to Alonso would mean that it will be one trophy he never obtained. Winning at every circuit is important to this ludicrously competitive fellow. The current calendar contains two races where the top step of the podium is still virgin territory for the seven times world champion: Turkey and China.

If last year is anything to go by, McLaren may deny both world champions the big trophy on Sunday. Kimi Raikkonen, energised after three weeks of whooping it up and slipping folded Euro notes into the elastic of various honeys' knickers, is raring to produce a repeat of last year's electrifying performance. Meanwhile, Pedro de la Rosa is desperate to notch up a healthy tally of points with which to end the season.

A word about the winner of the Hungarian Grand Prix, Jenson Button. Don't expect a repeat performance unless something goes horribly wrong for the big players. Button may have what it takes but Honda are nowhere near where they ought to be if they are going to get close to Ferrari, Renault or McLaren.

It should be an exciting race. Apparently there is a Turkish beer called Efes Pilsen which is supposed to be rather good, but I am taking Roger's advice and laying off the foreign muck (yes, I did get the phone call!). I will permit myself some shish kebab, though, and wash it down with something decent. I hope that you too will,

Enjoy Turkey!

Gitau
23 August 2006

Hungary - 1 Point

I failed to mention a crucial factor when I posted my commentary half an hour or so ago. The reason is that the information has only just been supplied to me by a keener F1 enthusiast than myself. This new development may prove significant in deciding who gets the drivers' championship crown in 2006.

Robert Kubica, Jacques Villeneuve's replacement in the BMW-Sauber and the first ever Polish F1 driver, has been disqualified from the seventh place he earned at yesterday’s Hungarian Grand Prix. Kubica, through no fault of his own, was found to be below the required weight at the end of the race. The unexpectedly heavy tyre wear on his car resulted in it being two kilograms lighter than is allowed by the strict weight rules.

This is bad luck for Robert Kubica. To earn 2 points on your F1 debut is the stuff of dreams. To then have them cruelly wrested from your grasp by the bastards at the FIA must feel like having your guts filleted. Kubica was celebrating with much enthusiasm with the rest of the BMW paddock yesterday afternoon and must be sorely gutted. There is much wailing and gnashing of teeth in Warsaw as I write this. But – pitiable as Kubica’s woes may be - there is far more to this than a disappointed Polack. Eighth placed man, Felipe Massa is promoted to seventh place, thereby slipping Ferrari an additional constructors’ championship point – always useful to have. This is not all, though. There is more. Much more.

The problem for the rest of us, the thing that we hoped and prayed wouldn’t happen is this: notwithstanding retiring from the race, Michael Schumacher now finds himself in eighth place and the beneficiary of a single drivers’ championship point.

Many a championship has been decided on a solitary point. The gap between Fernando Alonso and Michael Schumacher is now 10 points. This not good news my friends…

Gitau7 August 2006

Hungary - Hurrah!

There are two things I never expected to be writing. Not in a month of Sundays. Never. But I am going to write them. First, the Hungarian Grand Prix was the most exciting Formula 1 race in years. Second, Jenson Button won a Grand Prix.

Rain is the great leveller. It transforms a drab, soulless circuit into a place as challenging as Spa. It extracts the ultimate in skill and concentration from teams and drivers. And it causes havoc with tyres. The buckets of rain that fell on the Hungaroring just before yesterday’s Grand Prix delivered a set of circumstances that created chaos for all but the most mentally nimble. Jenson Button’s performance was exemplary. Having suffered an engine blow up on Saturday he was demoted ten places down the grid because of the inevitable engine change. To come from fourteenth place and win the race was brilliant. Uncharitable readers might cough a hasty “Ahem, Gitau, what race were you watching? Did you not notice that none of the big boys finished the race? Did you not see Kimi Raikkonen crash, Fernando Alonso break his suspension and Michael Schumacher fatally collide with Nick Heidfeld?” I accept all this. But yesterday’s race was about keeping one’s head when all others about you were losing theirs. Ice-cold English blood brewed in the fields of Somerset runs through the young English lad’s veins. Luck has been unkind to the talented lad thus far but the Gods were smiling on Button yesterday.

I know it is on its way. I can see Roger frantically scrolling down his lists for my phone number. I know what he will be yelling down the phone at me. “Did I not tell you to lay off that foreign muck, years ago? I told you to stick to Tusker. Sangiovese, Dreher, sijui Nastro Azurro. Forsooth! See now the damage it is causing to your few remaining brain cells!” I know that Roger will not be alone in feeling this way.

The feeling is understandable. Predictably, the Brits have gone mad over here. Button’s win was the lead news item on these shores until midnight. This morning’s newspapers are plastered with pictures of the Englishman grinning away on the podium. The bitter complaint before yesterday was that it had been 65 races and more than three years since a British driver had won a Formula 1 race – the longest break ever. The last Brit to stand on the top step of a podium was David Coulthard in a McLaren at Melbourne in 2003. This was almost too much for them to bear. Especially in a year when they believed themselves worthy of the World Cup. I grinned to myself at the partiality of the commentary. “Jenson Button is going to win it!” screamed James Allen. “Yes! Yes! Yes! Oooh yes! He’s done it” If you were blind and knew no better, you would have been convinced that Allen was experiencing the most monumentally earth-shattering orgasm ever. Proportion, dear boys, proportion…

There is merriment in the streets of Tokyo too. Yesterday was the first time the Japanese national anthem was played at a Formula 1 circuit.

You’ve got to hand it to Jenson, though. That was not an easy race to win. The experience gained after 113 Grand Prix starts with no win paid off handsomely in Hungary yesterday. Button has a very smooth driving style which is jolly useful in races where tyres are a major factor. Tyres were indeed the crucial aspect of the Hungarian Grand Prix. Yesterday was a duel between Michelin and Bridgestone which Michelin won hands down. The only man to get anything half-decent out of his Bridgestone tyres was Michael Schumacher. Bridgestone runners were flying off the circuit as if on roller-skates. Schumacher’s intermediate Bridgestones were in such bad shape by the end that even the second place he was chasing became impossible. First, he was pursued by the McLaren of Pedro de la Rosa. Schumacher made it as difficult for the Spaniard as he could but the inevitable happened and he could do nothing but stare into the disappearing McLaren gear box. Next, Nick Heidfeld was on his tail. This time his defensiveness cost him more than just a podium place. The seven times world champion found himself dangling at the end of a crane dragging his stricken Ferrari off the circuit. The sigh of relief through Chipo’s lips was most amusing!

This must have felt like a kick in the teeth to the German. It would have been the dream result: a race at which he scored lots of points and Fernando Alonso scored none. Alonso had suffered a Renault rarety: mechanical failure. As Alonso exited the pits after his second pit stop he felt his rear suspension snap and ended up beached against the tyre wall to the side of the circuit. To learn later that Schumacher had also retired must have given the young Spaniard reason to drop to his knees and cast his eyes thankfully heavenwards.

Meanwhile the news about the only other world champion in the current driver line-up, Jacques Villeneuve, this morning is not good. He and BMW-Sauber seem to have had a falling-out since his crash at Hockenheim a week ago. Villeneuve had wanted a little time to recover from the accident and didn’t feel up to racing in Hungary. The announcement this morning is that Villeneuve has been asked by BMW not to bother coming back whether well or not. “Listen, guy,” they are saying, “we’re not exactly in desperate need of your services!”

For as dramatic a race as yesterday’s to result in no change to the world championship standings is nothing short of sensational. The retirement of both world championship contenders means we are exactly where we were a week ago. There are still eleven points between Schumacher and Alonso and only five races left. I am making no predictions. Three weeks break and then Turkey. I can hardly wait…

Gitau
7 August 2006

The Hungarian Grand Prix

A landlocked Central European country with an imperial past and recent communist affiliations, Hungary doesn't exactly get the juices flowing. Nor, it must be said, does its Grand Prix. I rack my brains to think of Hungarian food and can only think of goulash (which, admittedly, I rather enjoy). Similarly, the brain hurts when I attempt to think of memorable races at the Hungaroring. This is easily my least favourite circuit.

Like Monaco, driving at the Hungaroring is hellishly frustrating. There are few, if any, overtaking opportunities and Grands Prix at this dreadful circuit are almost invariably dreary processions. Not much motor racing takes place at the Hungaroring, so the circuit tends to be very dusty on racing weekends. If it wasn't for the fact that the 2006 world championship is now at an electrifying stage, I would say that this is a safe race to ignore.

We are at perhaps the most crucial stage of Michael Schumacher's phenomenal career. From being 21 points behind Fernando Alonso a week ago, he now looks capable of pulling off the most spectacular turn-around of his career. The irony about Hungary is that it is here where he performed arguably his best ever performance. In 1998, canny race strategy and machine-like efficiency (pumping in ludicrously fast laps when his opponents were taking on fuel) delivered a phenomenal race win for Schumacher. The Ross Brawn mastery of the strategy switch has now been copied by others but it was at that race where the art form was created. Qualifying and strategy, therefore, are key to the Hungarian Grand Prix.

Strategically, then, I would say that Ross Brawn has met his equal in Pat Symonds at Renault. Symonds and Alonso have their work cut out this weekend. They cannot afford a repeat of Hockenheim; that would be soul destroying. Assuming that Hockenheim was but a blip - a very healthy assumption! - the Renault engine and chassis and new Michelin tyre compound will save their bacon in Hungary. Fernando Alonso must be praying to his various Gods. I have little doubt that his buddy King Juan Carlos will have been on the phone to him by now and will - in all likelihood - give him a chivvying ring on Sunday morning. Winning this championship is crucial. It may be the best chance he ever gets of winning a second championship - a base requirement of entry into the pantheon of great racing drivers. Alonso knows better than anyone that next year will be jolly difficult. Winning a championship with McLaren on current form is a tall order. That is why Kimi Raikkonen is jumping ship.

This really is the story of this weekend: driver moves for 2007. Nobody really knows whether there is going to be a vacant slot at Ferrari because Michael Schumacher won't tell anyone what he wants to do next year. Given that he is playing at the top of his game - even at 37 - who wants to bet on what his decision is going to be? Then there is the confirmed vacant slot at Renault. But who is going to occupy it? Will it be Raikkonen? Well, going by what the Ferrari boss, Jean Todt, was saying last weekend, he seems like a sure thing for the Scuderia. So, will it be Mark Webber then? Williams have confirmed that Webber's slot will be occupied by McLaren test driver, Alexander Wurz, so Webber is free to wander. Being a member of Flavio Briatore's stable of drivers means it is highly likely that Flav will place him at Renault. But then again, Briatore may want him at Red Bull. And then there is the question of who is to partner Alonso at McLaren. It's all terribly complicated!

Perhaps Chipo is right. Perhaps it made sense for Juan Pablo Montoya to quit this crazy circus and do something more exciting and less political...

The action to watch must really be qualifying. That's when you will see something interesting. The joker in the pack has got to be Kimi Raikkonen. He won the race last year and looked in outstanding form last weekend. He also has a point to prove to Ferrari and Michael Schumacher. Raikkonen could very well end up being the reason that Alonso is denied a second championship. This would be a very satisfying outcome for Raikkonen because he would finish the season only one – and not two – championships behind his arch rival. If he then nails the 2007 crown they will be on equal footing for 2008 – a very exciting prospect.

I expect a boring race but hope to be pleasantly surprised - anything can happen in Formula 1. The ever reliable Guiseppe phoned me this morning to inform me that he had dredged up some Dreher beer and "a Hungarian surprise". I look forward to it. There might not be much wheel to wheel action at the Hungaroring but there is all this intrigue to make sense of (it's almost as good as any soap opera!). With something appropriate with which to tickle the tonsils,

Enjoy Hungary!

Gitau
4 August 2006

Frightening Ferrari

Yesterday was the day when Ferrari struck terror into the hearts of emotional mortals such as yours truly. Ferrari do not conform to the strictures of anything. They do things their own way. Whereas teams allow cameras into their facilities and freely grant access to their team radios, Ferrari, as a rule, do not. The cry goes out from Maranello: "piss off!" Consider then my astonishment at hearing Michael Schumacher's voice addressing his pit crew as he drove his victory lap yesterday. This was calculated and deliberate. The message was clear. Ferrari intend to grind their opponents into the dust. If yesterday's demonstration was anything to go by, they will do so without even breaking a sweat. So superior was the one two of Michael Schumacher and Felipe Massa that it was even more pronounced than the dreadful 2002 season's performances. We are in new territory.

Fernando Alonso is rattled, not fatally, but certainly seriously unsettled. Contrary to the TV commentators (the usually excellent pairing of James Allen and Martin Brundle was atrocious yesterday - according to Chipo, the Hockenheim sun seemed to have cooked their brains and seared their eyesight in the process), There has been no drop-off in the ability or determination of the Spaniard. The problem Alonso had yesterday was manufactured for him by Renault and Michelin. Sometimes people need to be fired up by more than just technical ability. There are probably chaps at Renault's Oxfordshire headquarters who are less than happy with Alonso. I cannot help but suspect the disloyalty Alonso demonstrated in signing for McLaren so soon after becoming Renault's first champion in more than a decade caused some disquiet in the hearts of some people and continues to do so at this crucial stage in the championship. "Arsehole," was the sentiment expressed outside of earshot. "Bastard" was whispered a little more loudly. This may prove to be significant in the coming months. Six races, sixty world championship points and eleven points between the reigning champion and the German android. My thesis has ceased to hold true. I don't know whether Fernando Alonso will be world champion any more.

There is a chap who is definitely destined for great things. Kimi Raikkonen is, for me, the most outstanding driver in Formula One. Having secretly signed with Ferrari and rubbed his head between a pair of generous Italian tits, Raikkonen felt happy yesterday. Contentment oozed from every pore. Notwithstanding McLaren's inferior equipment and outrageously cock-eyed strategy, Raikkonen girded his loins and showed how to drive a race car. You want a pole position? Done. A win? Not possible with those scarlet monsters driving their own race but I will give you the next best thing: I will win race number two. You see, the Ferraris were in their own race, so Raikkonen's job was to win the other one. He did so famously. The Finn is going places. Look at his confident grin as he places his arms akimbo on the podium and you will see all you need. Observe his ability to understand that champagne is designed to be poured down one’s neck via the mouth, not for washing sweaty heads. This, remember, was a man who had literally driven the life out of his McLaren. When did you last see an engine blow up as the car entered parc ferme at the end of a Grand Prix. Raikkonen is on a mission. Ferrari will love him. Watch this space.

Another man with reason to be cheerful yesterday was English lad, Jenson Button. Had it not been for Kimi Raikkonen's daredevil overtaking ability, England would have been celebrating a good sporting weekend. Their man would have come third and earned a long awaited podium on the same weekend as England showed Pakistan a thing or two on the cricket pitch. But it was not to be. Still, Honda can take consolation from the fact that they look competitive again. Reliability issues still haunt them - witness the blow-up of Rubens Barrichello's engine - but they seem to be back where they ought to have been several months ago.

While Honda and Ferrari are moving onward and upward, Michelin have gone to sleep. Never have they needed to extract their digits more than they now need to. Fernando Alonso rescued fifth place by the skin of his teeth; such was the degradation in his tyres. His team-mate, Giancarlo Fisichella, could hardly keep his car on the tarmac - the tyres were that bad. Could it be perhaps Gallic fury at having lost out to the Japanese as sole tyre purveyors for next season that is causing this shocking incompetence? Is there some seething Frenchman throwing a spanner into the tyre manufacturing works? We shall soon find out…

It is becoming crucial. The omens are inauspicious. Let's hope Ferrari crash out of the Hungarian Grand Prix in a week's time. Things are not good…

Gitau
31 July 2006